Hismith Premium Fucking Machine

Alright, gather around folks, because today we’re delving into the world of the Hismith Premium Fucking Machine. Yep, you heard that right. Strap in, because this review is going to be a wild ride!

So, picture this: I get my hands on this bad boy thinking it’s just your run-of-the-mill sex machine. You know, the kind that goes back and forth and maybe has a few speed settings. But oh boy, was I in for a surprise! This thing is like the Swiss Army knife of pleasure gadgets. Not only does it come with a wire controller and remote control, but it’s also got an app! Yes, you heard me right, an app. Because why manually control your pleasure when you can just swipe on your phone like a pro?

Now, let me tell you about the real MVP of this whole setup: the app control. It’s like having your own personal pleasure DJ. You can customize your experience, let others take the wheel (literally), or even sample some pre-programmed settings from fellow adventurers in the land of carnal delights. I swear, it’s like the Rolls Royce of fucking machines. Granted, I haven’t tried every model out there (yet), but for now, this baby has got me grinning from ear to ear.

So, buckle up (or don’t, if that’s your thing), because I’m about to spill all the juicy details. Trust me, you won’t want to miss this!

The Not-so-Great

• Color Options for Attachment not Great
• Price is High
• Dildo attachments can be HUGE

Unboxing

Alright, picture this: I’m just minding my own business when a nondescript brown box arrives at my doorstep. Now, I’m no stranger to boxes full of peen, but this box had me scratching my head….Why is it so big? What on earth could it be? The suspense was killing me.

So, I muster up the courage to crack open the box, and lo and behold, my life takes an unexpected turn. Dramatic? Maybe. Life-changing? You betcha. Because nestled inside that unassuming box was the key to a whole new world of pleasure: the Hismith Premium Fucking Machine.

Now, here’s where things get interesting. I expected this behemoth of a machine, a towering monolith that would dominate my bedroom like a sex-positive Godzilla. But nope, this thing was surprisingly compact. It’s like they say, good things come in small packages, right?

So, I dive into the box like a kid on Christmas morning, and what do I find? A carrying bag, an 8.6” dildo (because apparently, size does matter), and the star of the show: the machine itself. Now, assembling this bad boy is a breeze. It’s like IKEA furniture, but way more fun. Just pop in the legs, plug it in, and voila! You’re ready to rock and roll. Oh, and did I mention it comes with a nifty little cover? Because nothing says discreet like hiding your pleasure machine in plain sight. Hey, gotta keep it classy, am I right?

Full Contents:
1 x Elgenece Red App Chip Hismith Sex Machine
1 x Power Supply  
1 x Double Layered Silicone Dildo
1 x Wire-Speed Dial Controller
1 x App Remote Controller
1 x Portable Bag

The machine I got came in a bundle and also included:
4 Fantasy Dildos
1 Suction cup adapter

Color

The Premium Sex Machine I have comes in 5 colors: 

The machine I have is red and I chose this one specifically because there was a bundle where 4 dildos and a suction cup base is included. The full price of that bundle is $799. I chose the red one because the dildos offered seemed like they would be an appropriate size for me. My first choice was purple, but honestly, if you look at the dildos in that bundle, it scared me. There was no way any of those were going to fit inside any of my holes haha.

Size

Length: 18.42 (46.8cm)
Height: 17.68″ (44.9cm)
Support Leg Length: 10.23″ (26cm)
Penetrable Length: 1.2” to 6” (3cm to 15cm)
Weight: 24 lbs (10.8 kg)
Speed: 0 to 250 strokes per minute

 Experience with Machine

Hold onto your hats, folks, because we’re about to dive into the nitty-gritty of how this bad boy feels in action. And trust me, it’s gonna get graphic. But hey, if you’re gonna review a pleasure machine, might as well give it the full monty, right?

Now, when I first laid eyes on this contraption, I’ll admit, I had my doubts. I mean, come on, a machine that’s supposed to mimic the real deal? It sounded too good to be true. But let me tell you, folks, sometimes life surprises you in the best ways. Because when I finally got down to business, it was like a revelation. The in-and-out movement? Shockingly realistic. Close your eyes and you’d swear there was a real-life Casanova in the room. It’s the stuff dreams are made of, I tell ya.

But wait, there’s more! This baby isn’t just a one-trick pony. Oh no, it’s got more adjustments than a Swiss army knife. Need to bend over while standing? Easy peasy. Wanna get cozy on the bed? No problem. Feeling adventurous and wanna try some gravity-defying positions? Well, my friend, you’re in luck. And when I say “freaky,” I mean it in the best possible way. After all, variety is the spice of life, isn’t it?

Now, here’s where things got a little interesting. I’ll admit, I was struggling with the whole penetrable length situation. Six inches sounded a bit daunting, if you catch my drift. But fear not, dear reader, because there’s a solution for everything. Turns out, those nifty knobs on the side are adjustable to your liking. Who knew reading the instructions could be so enlightening, right? Thank goodness for user manuals, saving the day one knob at a time.

Now, here’s where my imagination starts running wild. Wouldn’t it be something if this machine had some sort of intuitive AI? Picture this: it senses when you’re about to hit the big O and adjusts the pace accordingly. I mean, we’re living in the future, aren’t we? But hey, until that day comes, we’ve got the next best thing: the app. And let me tell you, it’s a game-changer. Who needs a sentient sex machine when you’ve got an app that can do it all? Ah, technology, you never cease to amaze.

There are 4 different “Play Modes” to choose from.

Solo Play:
You use the app to control the speed, you can go fast, slow, whatever you want, you’re in control. This is the most basic feature, and I actually don’t ever use it. I find that this is the one part that lags a little and I’d rather just use the wired controller.

Remote Play:
This feature lets you send a link, which is connected to your machine, to someone else and they will control it. I’m sorry but that is absolutely amazing and really hot. I use this feature quite a bit when I livestream on Fansly. For a small tip, you get the link and you get to control my machine. You control the speed, you control the orgasm. It’s very very hot.

Mode Play:
In this mode, you can select pre-programmed patterns that have been created by individuals on the app. They are in order of most “liked”, which I really appreciated because I was able to get down to it right away without having to browse too much.

Just a word of caution, before you test any of those modes out while a dildo is inside you, I would just see what it looks like because the first time I tried “Hard Anal” I was in for a shock with how FAST it started. Hehehe whoops.

There are tones of pre-programmed patterns to choose from, but if you’re curious, my favorites are:

Hard Anal: 
Once I’m all warmed up and stretched out, having this machine pound my ass is magical and makes me cum so quickly

Real Sex:
I have no idea how someone figured this one out but wow, if you close your eyes, the pattern it very realistic and really feels like someone is fucking you. It’s not too hard, not too fast, it’s honestly just right.

Realistic Hard:
This one is the most liked on the app, and I can see why. The “Hard” part really is just how fast it goes. It doesn’t seem like there is a way to control how hard or soft it’s penetrating you. But when it goes fast, it feels hard

Deep Anal Loving:
You have to be careful with this one. When they say deep, they mean deep. Okay so I’m not going to lie. As I’m writing this part here, It’s making me want to get my machine out and use this setting. This is one of those moments in life where everything just kindof comes together. And once im stretched and warmed up, wow!

It’s not wonder my top 4 are also the top 4 on the app. Literally these are so amazing and feel so realistic, it’s unbelievable 

Group Play:
This is where you can enter rooms people have created and someone else controls your machine. You can also create rooms and invite friends. Theres a voice option also. I’ll be honest, this part doesn’t really appeal to me. 

This machine can also be controlled with a wireless remote. This is not bad, you can go up and down in speed. You can give someone in the room the remote and they can control it. It can be pretty hot.
You can also control it with the Wired controller. I like this better than the wireless remote because I feel like being able to control a dial for speed it much easier. This way I am also able to see the speed number I’m at. I actually conducted a couple of speed tests on my Fansly page!

I have A LOT of content of me using the Fucking Machine in explicit ways. As a thank you for being on my review blog, I’m giving you 40% off! Click below to access!

Size + Feel of Attachments

In this section I will go through the measurements of each attachment I have and what I think about them. I’ve used every attachment on my front hole and for anal (minus the GIANT one).

8.4” Dildo

Made with 100% Silicone (body safe)
Full Length: 8.4” (21.3cm)
Insertable: 5.9″ (15cm)
Height: 3.5” (8.9cm)
Girth: 4.5” (11.4cm)
Weight: 13.7oz (389g)
Only comes in light skin tone

This is the Dildo that comes in the basic package. It feels like any other typical dildo, it’s hard but not too hard and feels soft. The one thing I absolutely hate is the color. There is only one color available, and it’s a light skin tone. 

In terms of how it feels:
In my front hole, it feels a little thin for what I’m used to, but it slides in nicely and does feel very realistic. Same with anal. It feels super realistic and I like that it’s malleable a little and isn’t super stiff!

Ophicone Silicone Dildo

Made with 100% Silicone (body safe)
Full Length: 8.59” (21.8cm)
Insertable: 7” (17.7cm)
Height: 3.75” (9.5cm)
Girth (smallest): 4.25” (10.7cm)
Girth (largest): 7” (17.8cm)
Weight: 16.2oz (460g)

I was really nervous when I first opened the box to this dildo. I mean, just look at it. All those bumps, I was scared it was going to be painful. However, I like trying everything at least once, so I did.

Front Hole: Went in easier than I thought and the bumps were not painful but also did not add any pleasure for me. I love that it’s an alien dick and really thats what turns me on about it. I love freaky things like this.

Anal: This one took a while to get in. I had to stretch myself out with some other toys before hand, but once it went in…. Well…. All I have to say is that it was absolutely amazing. Although I didn’t care for the bumps in the front hole, WOW for anal, it feels so good! I love the texture in my ass a lot!

9.7″ Curved Silicone Dildo – Fantasy Series

Made with 100% Silicone (body safe)
Full Length: 9.7” (24.6cm)
Insertable: 7.8” (19.8cm)
Girth: 6” (15.2cm)
Height: 4” (10.1cm)
Ball Width: 3” (7.6cm)
Weight: 24oz (680g)

Not going to lie, this one is HUGE. I mean, just look at my reaction during my unboxing video, I literally did not think I could fit that giant dick in any of my holes. Well well well…. How the turntables. After warming myself up, I attempted to get this one in the front hole. She’s big, so it took some time, but when it went it, it felt great. There is a nice curve to this dildo that helps to hit the gspot.

For anal? Well, this has now because my favorite dildo for anal. Which honestly, I feel like isn’t the best for me haha. Again, because it’s so big, it took some time getting it but WOW did my eyes pop out of my skull once it was all the way in. Holyshit the girth, the length, the sensation, the curve, all of it. It’s perfect. I love using this dildo to fuck my ass hard. Sometimes that means I can’t really walk for the rest of the day, and I’m fine with that (kidding!)

10.3 Inches Orochi Green Monster dildo

Made with 100% Silicone (body safe)
Full Length: 10.3 (26cm)
Insertable: 7.8” (19.8 cm)
Base Height: 4.5” (11.4cm)
Girth (smallest): 6” (15.2cm)
Girth (largest): 8” (20.3cm)
Weight: 29.4oz (836g)

Ok so this isn’t green? And I had no idea why this was the name until I googled it. It’s based off a dragon. Still, why not make it green then? In any case, when they say “Monster Dildo”, boy do they mean it. Spoiler alert, this did not fit in any of my holes. I tried to get it in the front, but there was no way. Having the machine on and the dildo rubbing my junk felt really good though. 

And to be honest, I didn’t even try to get it in my ass. I think it would take me 4-7 business days and I don’t have time for that haha!

Awl Silicone Dildo

Made with 100% Silicone (body safe)
Full Length: 10.12 (25.7cm)
Insertable: 9” (22.8 cm)
Height: 3.75” (9.5cm)
Girth (smallest): 3.5” (8.8cm)
Girth (largest): 7” (17.8cm)
Weight: 17.9oz (508g)

A cone shaped dildo, very intriguing. My first thought was this will be good for anal, when you’re first getting warmed up since it’s tapered. And I was right. For anal, it feels really nice. I kind of love the ridges and was pleasantly surprised with how good it felt. Front hole? Eh. A tapered dildo in the front hole doesn’t do it for me.

Suction Cup Adapter

Oh boy am I glad to have this attachment. With this, I can use any dildo or prosthetic I own that has a suction cup.

Now, I don’t have that many with suction cups, however, I do have a lot with a flat back. And because of this, I can use my secret weapon. New York Toy Collective makes this amazing double sided suction cup and it works PERFECTLY with this adaptor.

I just stick it on the adaptor, then stick whatever dick I want to the suction cup, and I am in for the night! The suction cup is honestly the best suction cup I’ve ever had in my entire life.

No matter how much you pull and pull, it won’t come off. You have to use the tabs on the side to release it. Anyways, if you’re thinking about getting this machine and this adaptor, you should also get the suction cup!

Overall, the attachments and adaptors you can get have been great for me (minus the MONSTER one). I actually have a wish list of all the other attachments I want to test out next!

If you’re interested in seeing me use these prosthetics on myself, in the front hole and for anal, please check out my fansly account. I have so much content with this machine and all of these attachments!

As a thank you for being on my review blog, I’m giving you 40% off! Click below to access!

Great For

This machine is great for anal training, anal stretching, front hole stretching, deep throat training, blow job training, and even just having something rub up against you. I find it really hot having the machine just rub me while I’m wearing clothing, it feels like a hard dick in pants and at any minute my clothes are going to be ripped off and I’m going to be fucked super hard. Okay okay, now we are digging into my fantasies a little, but anyways! MULIT-PURPOSE machine.

Real Feel Test™

These packers do not pass the Real Feel Test ™.

The machine doesn’t feel like skin, haha but the Dildo it comes with is not the softest dildo I’ve ever felt. It doesn’t feel like skin much, it feels more like a silicone dildo.

Cleaning and Care

I recommend cleaning this product before and after each use. 

I use A LOT of lube when I use this machine, so I have to get the cleaning supplies out and just make sure all the crevices have been cleaned and there isn’t any extra lube or fluids on the machine, dildo, and the remote. I honestly feel like the remote is the hardest thing to clean. Maybe it’s the lube I’m using.

The Dildo is made of 100% silicone, which means it’s easy to clean and sterilize. Usually, I would recommend sticking it in a boiling pot of water, however, because there is a little connector at the base of it, I don’t think submerging it is a good idea. Instead, you could hold it by the metal connector and boil the rest! Or use warm water and some soap!

Storage

The machine comes with a little storage bag, which I think is so handy. I don’t use it often because I actually use my machine multiple times a week, I don’t feel like disassembling the legs to put it in the bag. Instead, I store it on a table with the neat little cover they also include in the package. This prevents it being exposed to the elements, dust, and it’ll stay nice and clean for the next time I use it (which will be in a couple of days, hehe)

Final Thoughts

f you’ve read this far, then you know I’m a fan. This machine has changed my life in more ways than one. I can take my time when it comes to anal, and really decide when I want to go faster/harder. I really like having that control. I am also such a big fan of the community integration aspect of this machine and the app. To be able to use pre-programmed patterns from others, to send my link out to individuals, and to make my own patterns? What a future we live in! 
If you plan on getting this machine, I would highly recommend getting the app controlled version, the suction cup adaptor, and the suction cup from New York Toy Collective.